Menaechmi – Latin-English Interlinear Comedy (Part 3)

III.iii 

524 ANCILLA. Menaechme, amare ait te multum Erotium, 

MAID. Menaechmus, Erotium says she loves you very much, 

525 ut hoc una opera sibi ad aurificem deferas, 

that you take this at the same time to the goldsmith for her, 

526 atque huc ut addas auri pondo unciam 

and that you add to it an ounce of gold, 

527 iubeasque spinter novom reconcinnarier. 

and order a new clasp to be refashioned. 

528 MEN. Et istuc et aliud, si quid curari volet, 

MEN. That and anything else she wants taken care of, 

529 me curaturum dicito, quidquid volet. 

say that I will handle it, whatever she wants. 

530 ANC. Scin quid hoc sit spinter? MEN. Nescio, nisi aureum. 

MAID. Do you know what a spinter is? MEN. No, unless it’s something gold. 

531 ANC. Hoc est quod olim clanculum ex armario 

MAID. This is what you once said you secretly took from the wardrobe 

532 te surrupuisse aiebas uxori tuae. 

when you claimed you stole it from your wife. 

533 MEN. Numquam hercle factum est. ANC. Non meministi, obsecro? 

MEN. By Hercules, that never happened. MAID. Don’t you remember, I beg you? 

534 redde igitur spinter, si non meministi. MEN. Mane. 

Then give the clasp back, if you don’t remember. MEN. Wait. 

535 immo equidem memini. nempe hoc est, quod illi dedi. 

Actually, I do remember. This is definitely what I gave her. 

536 ANC. Istuc. MEN. Vbi illae armillae sunt, quas una dedi? 

MAID. That’s the one. MEN. Where are those bracelets I gave with it? 

537 ANC. Numquam dedisti. MEN. Nam pol hoc unum dedi. 

MAID. You never gave them. MEN. By Pollux, I gave only this one thing. 

538 ANC. Dicam curare? MEN. Dicito: curabitur. 

MAID. Shall I say you’ll take care of it? MEN. Tell her: it will be done. 

539 et palla et spinter faxo referantur simul. 

I’ll make sure both the cloak and the clasp are brought back together. 

540 ANC. Amabo, mi Menaechme, inauris da mihi 

MAID. Please, my Menaechmus, give me earrings 

541 faciendas pondo duom nummum, stalagmia, 

to be made, two coins’ weight, little droplets, 

542 ut te libenter videam, quom ad nos veneris. 

so that I may gladly see you when you visit us. 

543 MEN. Fiat. cedo aurum, ego manupretium dabo. 

MEN. All right. Hand over the gold, I’ll pay the craftsman. 

544 ANC. Da sodes abs te: ego post reddidero tibi. 

MAID. Please give it from your own money: I’ll repay you later. 

545 MEN. Immo cedo abs te: ego post tibi reddam duplex. 

MEN. No, hand it over yourself: I’ll pay you back double later. 

546 ANC. Non habeo. MEN. At tu, quando habebis, tum dato. 

MAID. I don’t have it. MEN. Well then, give it when you do. 

547 ANC. Numquid me vis? MEN. Haec me curaturum dicito— 

MAID. Do you want anything else from me? MEN. Just say I’ll handle all this— 

548 ut quantum possint quique liceant veneant. 

so they may be sold for as much as they lawfully can. 

549 iamne abiit intro? abiit, operuit fores. 

Has she gone in now? She has, she closed the door. 

550 di me quidem omnes adiuvant, augent, amant. 

All the gods are truly helping me, enriching me, loving me. 

551 sed quid ego cesso, dum datur mi occasio 

But why am I delaying, while I’ve got the chance 

552 tempusque, abire ab his locis lenoniis? 

and time to get away from these brothel-like places? 

553 propera, Menaechme, fer pedem, confer gradum. 

Hurry, Menaechmus, step lively, pick up the pace. 

554 demam hanc coronam atque abiciam ad laevam manum, 

I’ll take off this garland and throw it to the left, 

555 ut, siquis sequatur, hac me abiisse censeant. 

so if anyone follows, they’ll think I went that way. 

556 ibo et conveniam servom, si potero, meum, 

I’ll go meet my slave, if I can, 

557 ut haec, quae bona dant di mihi, ex me sciat. 

so he’ll hear from me the good things the gods are giving me. 

ACT IV 

IV.i 

558 MATRONE. Egone hic me patiar frustra in matrimonio, 

WIFE. Shall I let myself suffer in vain in this marriage, 

559 ubi vir compilet clanculum quidquid domist 

where my husband secretly plunders whatever is in the house 

560 atque ea ad amicam deferat? PEN. Quin tu taces? 

and takes it to his mistress? PEN. Why don’t you be quiet? 

561 manufesto faxo iam opprimes: sequere hac modo. 

I’ll make sure you catch him in the act—just follow this way. 

562 pallam ad phrygionem cum corona ebrius 

He was drunkenly carrying the cloak to the embroiderer with a garland, 

563 ferebat, hodie tibi quam surrupuit domo. 

the one he stole from your house today. 

564 sed eccam coronam quam habuit. num mentior? 

But look, here’s the garland he had. Am I lying? 

565 em hac abiit, si vis persequi vestigiis. 

Look—he went this way, if you want to follow his tracks. 

566 atque edepol eccum optume revortitur; 

And by Pollux, look, he’s coming back at the perfect time; 

567 sed pallam non fert. MAT. Quid ego nunc cum illoc agam? 

but he’s not carrying the cloak. WIFE. What should I do with him now?  

568 PEN. Idem quod semper: male habeas; sic censeo. 

PEN. The same as always: give him hell—that’s my advice. 

569 huc concedamus: ex insidiis aucupa. 

Let’s step over here—lie in wait and catch him.

IV.ii 

571 MENAECHMVS. Vt hoc utimur maxime more moro 

MENAECHMUS. How we make such frequent use of this custom—foolish, 

572 molestoque multum, atque uti quique sunt 

and very troublesome—and how especially those who are 

573 optumi, maxume morem habent hunc: 

the best, hold to it most strictly: 

574 clientes sibi omnes volunt esse multos: 

they all want to have many clients for themselves: 

575 bonine an mali sint, id haud quaeritant; 

whether they are good or bad, they hardly ask; 

576 res magis quaeritur quam clientum fides 

they seek wealth more than their clients’ good faith 

577 cuius modi clueat. 

or what sort of reputation they have. 

578 si est pauper atque haud malus, nequam habetur, 

If he’s poor and not bad, he’s considered worthless, 

579 sin dives malust, is cliens frugi habetur. 

but if he’s rich and bad, he’s considered a good client. 

580 qui neque leges neque aequom bonum usquam colunt, 

Those who respect neither laws nor justice anywhere, 

581 sollicitos patronos habent. 

have anxious patrons. 

582 datum denegant quod datum est, litium pleni, rapaces 

They deny what’s been given, are full of lawsuits, greedy 

583 viri, fraudulenti, 

men, deceitful, 

584 qui aut faenore aut periuriis habent rem paratam, 

who have built their fortune through usury or perjury, 

585 mens est in quo 

the sort of men whose very mind is bent on this: 

586 eis ubi dicitur dies, simul patronis dicitur. 

when a court date is set for them, it’s also set for their patrons. 

587 [quippe qui pro illis loquimur quae male fecerunt] 

[After all, we speak for those who have done wrong] 

588 aut ad populum aut in iure aut apud aedilem res est. 

the matter is before the people, in court, or before the aedile. 

589 sicut me hodie nimis sollicitum cliens quidam habuit, neque quod volui 

Just like today, a client kept me too anxious, and I couldn’t do what I wanted 

590 agere aut quicum licitumst, ita med attinuit, ita detinuit. 

or be with whom I wished—he so detained me, so delayed me. 

591 apud aediles pro eius factis plurumisque pessumisque 

Before the aediles, for his many worst offenses, 

592 dixi causam, condiciones tetuli tortas, confragosas: 

I pleaded his case, offered twisted, jagged terms: 

593 aut plus aut minus quam opus fuerat dicto dixeram controversiam, ut 

I stated the case either too much or too little, so that 

594 sponsio fieret. quid ille? qui praedem dedit. 

a wager would be made. And he? He gave a surety. 

595 nec magis manufestum ego hominem umquam ullum teneri vidi: 

I never saw a man caught more red-handed in my life: 

596 omnibus male factis testes tres aderant acerrumi. 

three top-notch witnesses were there for all his crimes. 

597 di illum omnes perdant, ita mihi 

May all the gods ruin him, so much did he 

598 hunc hodie corrupit diem, 

wreck this day for me today, 

599 meque adeo, qui hodie forum 

and me too, who today even dared to 

600 umquam oculis inspexi meis. 

lay eyes on the forum. 

601 diem corrupi optimum: 

I ruined the best day: 

602 iussi adparari prandium, 

I had lunch ordered, 

603 amica exspectat me, scio. 

my girlfriend is waiting for me, I know. 

604 ubi primum est licitum, ilico 

As soon as I was free, straight away 

605 properavi abire de foro. 

I rushed out of the forum. 

606 iratast, credo, nunc mihi; 

She’s angry now, I suppose; 

607 placabit palla quam dedi, 

the cloak I gave her will win her over, 

608 quam hodie uxori abstuli atque huic detuli Erotio. 

which I stole from my wife today and brought here to Erotium.

609 PEN. Quid ais? MAT. Viro me malo male nuptam. PEN. Satin audis quae illic loquitur?

PEN. What do you say? WIFE. That I am miserably married to a bad husband. PEN. Do you hear what she’s saying clearly enough?

610 MAT. Satis. MEN. Si sapiam, hinc intro abeam, ubi mi bene sit. PEN. Mane; male erit potius.

WIFE. Enough. MEN. If I had any sense, I’d go inside now, where I’ll be comfortable. PEN. Stay; it will be the opposite.

611 MAT. Ne illam ecastor faenerato abstulisti. PEN. Sic datur.

WIFE. By Castor, you certainly took her on interest. PEN. That’s how it’s given.

612 MAT. Clanculum te istaec flagitia facere censebas potis?

WIFE. Did you think you could do those disgraceful things in secret?

613 MEN. Quid illuc est, uxor, negoti? MAT. Men rogas? MEN. Vin hunc rogem?

MEN. What’s going on, wife? WIFE. You ask me? MEN. Should I ask him?

614 MAT. Aufer hinc palpationes. PEN. Perge tu. MEN. Quid tu mihi

WIFE. Take your pawing hands away. PEN. Go on. MEN. Why are you

615 tristis es? MAT. Te scire oportet. PEN. Scit, sed dissimulat malus.

sad? WIFE. You ought to know. PEN. He knows, but the scoundrel pretends not to.

616 ME. Quid negotist? MA. Pallam-- ME. Pallam? MA. Quidam pallam-- PEN. Quid paves?

MEN. What’s the business? WIFE. The cloak— MEN. The cloak? WIFE. Someone, the cloak— PEN. Why are you flustered?

617 MEN. Nil equidem paveo. PEN. Nisi unum: palla pallorem incutit.

MEN. I’m not afraid at all. PEN. Except for one thing: the cloak puts the pallor in you.

618 at tu ne clam me comesses prandium. perge in virum.

But don’t you eat lunch behind my back. Go at your husband.

619 MEN. Non taces? PEN. Non hercle vero taceo. nutat, ne loquar.

MEN. Won’t you be quiet? PEN. By Hercules, I will certainly not be quiet. He’s signaling me not to speak.

620 MEN. Non hercle ego quidem usquam quicquam nuto neque nicto tibi.

MEN. By Hercules, I swear I’m neither nodding nor winking at you.

621 MA. Ne ego mecastor mulier misera. ME. Qui tu misera es? mi expedi.

WIFE. By Castor, I am a miserable woman. MEN. Why are you miserable? Tell me.

622 PEN. Nihil hoc confidentius, qui quae vides ea pernegat.

PEN. Nothing is bolder than a man who denies what you can see with your own eyes.

623 MEN. Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor, (satin hoc est tibi?)

MEN. By Jupiter and all the gods I swear, wife—(is that enough for you?)

624 me isti non nutasse. PEN. Credit iam tibi de isto: illuc redi.

that I didn’t nod to that man. PEN. Now she believes you about that; go back to that.

625 MEN. Quo ego redeam? PEN. Equidem ad phrygionem censeo. ei, pallam refer.

MEN. Go back where? PEN. I say, to the embroiderer. Hey, return the cloak.

626 MEN. Quae istaec palla est? PEN. Taceo iam, quando haec rem non meminit suam.

MEN. Which cloak? PEN. I’ll be quiet now, since she doesn’t remember her own affair.

627 MEN. Numquis servorum deliquit? num ancillae aut servi tibi

MEN. Has any of the slaves done wrong? Have the maidservants or slaves

628 responsant? eloquere. impune non erit. MAT. Nugas agis.

been talking back? Speak. It won’t go unpunished. WIFE. You’re talking nonsense.

629 MEN. Tristis admodum es. non mi istuc satis placet. MAT. Nugas agis.

MEN. You’re extremely sad. I don’t like that. WIFE. You’re talking nonsense.

630 MEN. Certe familiarium aliquoi irata es. MAT. Nugas agis.

MEN. You’re certainly angry at some of the household. WIFE. You’re talking nonsense.

631 MEN. Num mihi es irata saltem? MAT. Nunc tu non nugas agis.

MEN. Are you angry with me at least? WIFE. Now you’re not talking nonsense.

632 MEN. Non edepol deliqui quicquam. MAT. Em rursum nunc nugas agis.

MEN. By Pollux, I haven’t done anything wrong. WIFE. Look, now you’re talking nonsense again.

633 MEN. Dic, mea uxor, quid tibi aegre est? PEN. Bellus blanditur tibi.

MEN. Tell me, my wife, what’s bothering you? PEN. He’s flattering you sweetly.

634 MEN. Potin ut mihi molestus ne sis? num te appello? MAT. Aufer manum.

MEN. Can you stop bothering me? Am I even talking to you? WIFE. Take your hand away.

635 PEN. Sic datur. properato absente me comesse prandium,

PEN. That’s how it’s done. You rush to eat lunch while I’m not around,

636 post ante aedis cum corona me derideto ebrius.

then afterwards, drunk and garlanded, mock me in front of the house.

637 MEN. Neque edepol ego prandi neque hodie huc intro tetuli pedem.

MEN. And by Pollux, I neither had lunch nor set foot in here today.

638 PEN. Tun negas? MEN. Nego hercle vero. PEN. Nihil hoc homine audacius.

PEN. You deny it? MEN. By Hercules, I certainly deny it. PEN. Nothing is bolder than this man.

639 non ego te modo hic ante aedis cum corona florea

Didn’t I just see you here in front of the house with a flowery garland

640 vidi astare? quom negabas mi esse sanum sinciput,

standing? When you claimed my head wasn’t sound,

641 et negabas me novisse, peregrinum aibas esse te?

and denied knowing me, saying you were a foreigner?

642 MEN. Quin ut dudum divorti abs te, redeo nunc demum domum.

MEN. But ever since I parted from you just now, I am only now returning home.

643 PEN. Novi ego te. non mihi censebas esse, qui te ulciscerer.

PEN. I know you. You didn’t think I had someone to take revenge on you.

644 omnia hercle uxori dixi. MEN. Quid dixisti? PEN. Nescio,

By Hercules, I told your wife everything. MEN. What did you say? PEN. I don’t know,

645 eam ipsus roga. MEN. Quid hoc est, uxor? quidnam hic narravit tibi?

ask her yourself. MEN. What’s going on, wife? What did he tell you?

646 quid id est? quid taces? quin dicis quid sit? MAT. Quasi tu nescias.

What is it? Why are you silent? Why don’t you say what it is? WIFE. As if you didn’t know.

639a MAT. Palla mi est domo surrepta. MEN. Palla surrepta est tibi?

WIFE. A cloak has been stolen from my house. MEN. A cloak has been stolen from you?

640 MAT. Me rogas? MEN. Pol haud rogem te, si sciam. PEN. O hominem malum,

WIFE. You ask me? MEN. By Pollux, I wouldn’t ask you if I knew. PEN. Oh, what a scoundrel,

641 ut dissimulat. non potes celare: rem novit probe.

how he pretends. You can’t hide it: he knows the matter well.

642 omnia hercle ego edictavi. MEN. Quid id est? MAT. Quando nil pudet

By Hercules, I proclaimed everything. MEN. What is it? WIFE. Since you have no shame

643 neque vis tua voluntate ipse profiteri, audi atque ades.

and don’t want to confess it of your own will, listen and pay attention.

644 et quid tristis sim et quid hic mihi dixerit, faxo scias.

And why I am upset and what he told me, I’ll make sure you know.

645 palla mi est domo surrupta. MEN. Palla surruptast mihi?

A cloak has been stolen from my house. MEN. A cloak has been stolen from me?

646 PEN. Viden ut te scelestus captat? huic surruptast, non tibi.

PEN. Do you see how this scoundrel is tricking you? It was stolen from her, not from you.

647 nam profecto tibi surrupta si esset — salva non foret.

For if it had truly been stolen from you — it wouldn’t still be safe.

648 MEN. Nil mihi tecum est. sed tu quid ais? MAT. Palla, inquam, periit domo.

MEN. I have nothing to say to you. But what do you say? WIFE. The cloak, I say, was lost from the house.

649 MEN. Quis eam surrupuit? MAT. Pol istuc ille scit qui illam abstulit.

MEN. Who stole it? WIFE. By Pollux, the one who took it knows that.

650 MEN. Quis is Menaechmust? MAT. Tu istic, inquam. MEN. Egone? MAT. Tu. MEN. Quis arguit?

MEN. Who is this Menaechmus? WIFE. You there, I say. MEN. Me? WIFE. You. MEN. Who accuses me?

651 MAT. Egomet. PEN. Et ego. atque huic amicae detulisti Erotio.

WIFE. I do. PEN. And I. And you brought it to your girlfriend Erotium.

652 MEN. Egon dedi? MAT. Tu, tu istic, inquam. vin adferri noctuam,

MEN. I gave it? WIFE. You, you there, I say. Want me to bring an owl,

653 quae "tu tu" usque dicat tibi? nam nos iam defessi sumus.

that will keep saying “you, you” to you? For we are tired of it now.

654 MEN. Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor (satin hoc est tibi?)

MEN. By Jupiter and all the gods I swear, wife (is this enough for you?)

655 non dedisse. MAT. Immo hercle vero, nos non falsum dicere.

that I didn’t give it. WIFE. No, by Hercules, we’re not lying.

656 MEN. Sed ego illam non condonavi, sed sic utendam dedi.

MEN. But I didn’t give it to her outright—I just gave it to use temporarily.

657 MAT. Equidem ecastor tuam nec chlamydem do foras nec pallium

WIFE. Indeed, by Castor, I neither hand out your cloak nor your mantle

658 cuiquam utendum. mulierem aequom est vestimentum muliebre

to anyone for use. A woman should give a woman’s garment

659 dare foras, virum virile. quin refers pallam domum?

to another woman, a man a man’s. Why don’t you bring the cloak back home?

660 MEN. Ego faxo referetur. MAT. Ex re tua, ut opinor, feceris;

MEN. I’ll make sure it’s brought back. WIFE. I think you’ll have acted in your own interest;

661 nam domum numquam introibis, nisi feres pallam simul.

for you will never enter the house unless you bring the cloak with you.

662 eo domum. PEN. Quid mihi futurum est, qui tibi hanc operam dedi?

She goes home. PEN. What will become of me, who gave you this help?

663 MAT. Opera reddetur, quando quid tibi erit surruptum domo.

WIFE. Your help will be repaid when something gets stolen from your house.

664 PEN. Id quidem edepol numquam erit, nam nihil est quod perdam domi.

PEN. That, by Pollux, will never happen, for I have nothing at home to lose.

665 cum viro cum uxore di vos perdant. properabo ad forum,

May the gods destroy you both, husband and wife. I’ll hurry to the forum,

666 nam ex hac familia me plane excidisse intellego.

for I clearly understand I’ve been completely cast out of this household.

667 MEN. Male mi uxor sese fecisse censet, quom exclusit foras;

MEN. My wife thinks she’s done wrong to me when she shut me out;

668 quasi non habeam, quo intromittar, alium meliorem locum.

as if I don’t have somewhere better to be admitted to.

669 si tibi displiceo, patiundum: at placuero huic Erotio,

If I displease you, I must bear it; but I’ll please this Erotium,

670 quae me non excludet ab se, sed apud se occludet domi.

who won’t shut me out, but will shut me in inside her house.

671 nunc ibo, orabo ut mihi pallam reddat, quam dudum dedi;

Now I’ll go and ask her to give back the cloak I gave her a while ago;

672 aliam illi redimam meliorem. heus, ecquis hic est ianitor?

I’ll buy her a better one in exchange. Hey, is there a doorkeeper here?

673 aperite atque Erotium aliquis evocate ante ostium.

Open up and someone call Erotium out to the door.

IV.iii

674 EROTIUM. Quis hic me quaerit? MEN. Sibi inimicus magis quam aetati tuae.

EROTIUM. Who’s asking for me here? MEN. A man more harmful to himself than to your youth.

675 ER. Mi Menaechme, cur ante aedis astas? sequere intro. MEN. Mane.

ER. My Menaechmus, why are you standing in front of the house? Come inside. MEN. Wait.

676 scin quid est quod ego ad te venio? ER. Scio, ut tibi ex me sit volup.

Do you know why I’ve come to you? ER. I know—to get pleasure from me.

677 MEN. Immo edepol pallam illam, amabo te, quam tibi dudum dedi,

MEN. No, by Pollux—please—that cloak I gave you earlier,

678 mihi eam redde. uxor rescivit rem omnem, ut factum est, ordine.

give it back to me. My wife found out the whole thing, how it happened, step by step.

679 ego tibi redimam bis tanto pluris pallam, quam voles.

I’ll buy you another cloak worth twice as much—whichever one you want.

680 ER. Tibi dedi equidem illam, ad phrygionem ut ferres, paulo prius,

ER. I certainly gave it to you a little while ago, to take to the embroiderer,

681 et illud spinter, ut ad aurificem ferres, ut fieret novom.

and that bracelet, for you to take to the goldsmith, to have it remade.

682 MEN. Mihi tu ut dederis pallam et spinter? numquam factum reperies.

MEN. That you gave me the cloak and the bracelet? You’ll never prove that happened.

683 nam ego quidem postquam illam dudum tibi dedi atque abii ad forum,

For after I gave that to you earlier and went off to the forum,

684 nunc redeo, nunc te postillac video. ER. Video quam rem agis.

now I’m returning, and now I’m seeing you again. ER. I see what game you’re playing.

685 quia commisi, ut me defrudes, ad eam rem adfectas viam.

Because I trusted you, you are now seeking a way to defraud me.

686 MEN. Neque edepol te defrudandi causa posco (quin tibi

MEN. By Pollux, I’m not asking it back to cheat you (indeed I tell you

687 dico uxorem rescivisse) — ER. Nec te ultro oravi ut dares:

my wife found out) — ER. And I didn’t beg you to give it in the first place:

688 tute ultro ad me detulisti, dedisti eam dono mihi;

you brought it to me yourself, you gave it to me as a gift;

689 eandem nunc reposcis: patiar. tibi habe, aufer, utere

now you want it back: fine. Keep it, take it, use it

690 vel tu vel tua uxor, vel etiam in loculos compingite.

either you or your wife, or even stuff it into your purse.

691 tu huc post hunc diem pedem intro non feres, ne frustra sis;

You will not step foot in here again after today, lest it be for nothing;

692 quando tu me bene merentem tibi habes despicatui,

since you treat me, though I’ve earned well from you, with contempt,

693 nisi feres argentum, frustra me ductare non potes.

unless you bring money, you cannot string me along in vain.

694 aliam posthac invenito quam habeas frustratui.

Go find another woman to lead on after this.

695 MEN. Nimis iracunde hercle tandem. heus tu, tibi dico, mane,

MEN. Too hot-tempered, by Hercules, at last. Hey you, I’m talking to you, wait,

696 redi. etiamne astas? etiam audes mea revorti gratia?

come back. Are you still standing there? You still dare come back for my sake?

697 abiit intro, occlusit aedis. nunc ego sum exclusissimus:

She’s gone inside and locked the door. Now I’m shut out worse than ever:

698 neque domi neque apud amicam mihi iam quicquam creditur.

neither at home nor at my mistress’s am I believed about anything anymore.

699 ibo et consulam hanc rem amicos, quid faciendum censeant.

I’ll go and ask my friends’ advice about what they think should be done.

ACT V 

V.i 

700 MENAECHMVS. Nimis stulte dudum feci, quom marsuppium

MENAECHMUS. I acted far too foolishly earlier when I entrusted the purse

701 Messenioni cum argento concredidi.

with the money to Messenio.

702 immersit aliquo sese, credo, in ganeum.

He’s probably buried himself in some cookshop, I think.

703 MATRONE. Provisam quam mox vir meus redeat domum.

WIFE. I’ll go check how soon my husband is coming back home.

704 sed eccum video. salva sum, pallam refert.

But look, there he is. I’m saved—he’s bringing back the cloak.

705 MEN. Demiror ubi nunc ambulet Messenio.

MEN. I wonder where Messenio is wandering around now.

706 MAT. Adibo atque hominem accipiam quibus dictis meret.

WIFE. I’ll go up to him and give him the words he deserves.

707 non te pudet prodire in conspectum meum,

Are you not ashamed to appear before my eyes,

708 flagitium hominis, cum istoc ornatu? MEN. Quid est?

you disgrace of a man, in that outfit? MEN. What’s this?

709 quae te res agitat, mulier? MAT. Etiamne, impudens,

What’s gotten into you, woman? WIFE. You still, shameless one,

710 muttire verbum unum audes aut mecum loqui?

dare to mutter a single word or speak with me?

711 MEN. Quid tandem admisi in me, ut loqui non audeam?

MEN. What have I done now that I shouldn’t even dare speak?

712 MAT. Rogas me? o hominis impudentem audaciam!

WIFE. You ask me? Oh, what shameless audacity this man has!

713 MEN. Non tu scis, mulier, Hecubam quapropter canem

MEN. Don’t you know, woman, why Hecuba was said to be a dog

714 Graii esse praedicabant? MAT. Non equidem scio.

by the Greeks? WIFE. I certainly don’t know.

715 MEN. Quia idem faciebat Hecuba quod tu nunc facis:

MEN. Because Hecuba did the same thing you’re doing now:

716 omnia mala ingerebat, quemquem aspexerat.

she hurled curses at everyone she saw.

717 itaque adeo iure coepta appellari est canes.

And so she rightly came to be called a dog.

718 MAT. Non ego istaec tua flagitia possum perpeti.

WIFE. I can’t endure those disgraceful actions of yours.

719 nam med aetatem viduam esse mavelim,

For I would rather live my whole life as a widow

720 quam istaec flagitia tua pati quae tu facis.

than put up with those shameful things you do.

721 MEN. Quid id ad me, tu te nuptam possis perpeti

MEN. What’s that to me, whether you can endure being married

722 an sis abitura a tuo viro? an mos hic ita est,

or plan to leave your husband? Or is it the custom here

723 peregrino ut advenienti narrent fabulas?

to tell fables to a stranger just arrived?

724 MAT. Quas fabulas? non, inquam, patiar praeterhac,

WIFE. What fables? I tell you, I will no longer endure it,

725 quin vidua vivam quam tuos mores perferam.

but I’ll live as a widow rather than endure your behavior.

726 MEN. Mea quidem hercle causa vidua vivito,

MEN. For my part, by Hercules, go live as a widow,

727 vel usque dum regnum optinebit Iuppiter.

even as long as Jupiter holds the throne.

728 MAT. At mihi negabas dudum surrupuisse te,

WIFE. But earlier you denied having stolen it,

729 nunc eandem ante oculos attines: non te pudet?

and now you hold the same cloak before my eyes: aren’t you ashamed?

730 MEN. Eu hercle, mulier, multum et audax et mala es.

MEN. Ha! By Hercules, woman, you are bold and wicked beyond measure.

731 tun tibi hanc surreptam dicere audes, quam mihi

You dare say this was stolen from you, when another woman

732 dedit alia mulier ut concinnandam darem?

gave it to me to have mended?

733 MAT. Ne istuc mecastor — siam patrem accersam meum

WIFE. By Castor, not that — I’ll summon my father

734 atque ei narrabo tua flagitia quae facis.

and tell him all the disgraceful things you’ve done.

735 ei, Deceo, quaere meum patrem, tecum simul

Go, Deceo, find my father and bring him here with you

736 ut veniat ad me: ita rem esse dicito.

to come to me: tell him what’s going on.

737 iam ego aperiam istaec tua flagitia. MEN. Sanan es?

Now I’ll expose all your disgraceful acts. MEN. Are you sane?

738 quae mea flagitia? MAT. Pallam atque aurum meum

What disgraceful acts of mine? WIFE. My cloak and my jewelry

739 domo suppilas tuae uxori et tuae

you steal from the house and give to your wife and

740 degeris amicae. satin haec recte fabulor?

your mistress. Am I getting this story right?

741 MEN. Quaeso hercle, mulier, si scis, monstra quod bibam,

MEN. By Hercules, woman, please—if you know—show me what to drink,

742 tuam qui possim perpeti petulantiam.

so I can put up with your rudeness.

743 quem tu hominem esse me arbitrere, nescio;

I don’t know what sort of man you think I am;

744 ego te simitu novi cum Porthaone.

I know you as much as I know Porthaon.

745 MAT. Si me derides, at pol illum non potes,

WIFE. If you mock me, by Pollux, you won’t mock him,

746 patrem meum, qui huc advenit. quin respicis?

my father, who is arriving now. Why don’t you look?

747 novistin tu illum? MEN. Novi cum Calcha simul:

Do you know him? MEN. I know him—as well as I know Calchas:

748 eodem die illum vidi quo te ante hunc diem.

I saw him the same day I saw you before today.

749 MAT. Negas novisse me? negas patrem meum?

WIFE. You deny knowing me? You deny my father?

750 MEN. Idem hercle dicam, si avom vis adducere.

MEN. I’ll say the same, by Hercules, if you bring your grandfather too.

751 MAT. Ecastor pariter hoc atque alias res soles.

WIFE. By Castor, this is just what you always do with everything.

V.ii 

752 SENEX. Vt aetas mea est atque ut hoc usus facto est 

OLD MAN. As my age is, and as habit has made this custom, 

753 gradum proferam, progrediri properabo. 

I will take a step forward, I will hasten to proceed. 

754 sed id quam mihi facile sit, haud sum falsus. 

But how easy that is for me, I am under no illusion. 

755 nam pernicitas deserit: consitus sum 

For agility leaves me: I am rooted 

756 senectute, onustum gero corpus, vires 

by old age, I carry a burdened body, strength 

757 reliquere: ut aetas mala est; mers mala ergost. 

has left me: what a miserable age; a bad business indeed. 

758 nam res plurumas pessumas, quom advenit, fert: 

For it brings many and very bad things, when it comes: 

759 quas si autumem omnis, nimis longus sermost. 

if I were to list them all, the speech would be too long. 

760 sed haec res mihi in pectore et corde curaest, 

But this matter weighs on my heart and mind, 

761 quidnam hoc sit negoti, quod filia sic 

what this business might be, that my daughter so 

762 repente expetit me, ut ad sese irem. 

suddenly urges me to come to her. 

763 nec, quid id sit, mihi certius facit, quid 

Nor does she make it any clearer to me, what 

764 velit, quid me accersat. 

she wants, why she summons me. 

765 verum propemodum iam scio, quid siet rei. 

But now I pretty much know what the matter is. 

766 credo cum viro litigium natum esse aliquod. 

I believe some quarrel has arisen with her husband. 

767 ita istaec solent, quae viros subservire 

That's how they usually are, those women who expect their husbands 

768 sibi postulant, dote fretae, feroces. 

to serve them, fierce with reliance on their dowry. 

769 et illi quoque haud abstinent saepe culpa. 

And the men too often are not without blame. 

770 verum est modus tamen, quoad pati uxorem oportet; 

Still, there is a limit to what one ought to endure in a wife; 

771 nec pol filia umquam patrem accersit ad se, 

Nor, by Pollux, does a daughter ever summon her father, 

772 nisi aut quid commissi aut iurgi est iusta causa. 

unless there is just cause for some fault or quarrel. 

773 sed id quidquid est, iam sciam. atque eccam eampse 

But whatever it is, I’ll find out now. And look—there she is herself 

774 ante aedis et eius virum tristem video. 

before the house, and I see her sad-looking husband. 

775 id est quod suspicabar. 

That’s just what I suspected. 

776 appellabo hanc. MAT. Ibo advorsum. salve multum, mi pater. 

I’ll speak to her. WIFE. I’ll go to meet him. Many greetings, my father. 

777 SEN. Salva sis. salven advenio? salven accersi iubes? 

OLD MAN. Be well. Have I come in good time? Did you summon me rightly? 

778 quid tu tristis es? quid ille autem abs te iratus destitit? 

Why are you sad? Why has he, angry, gone off from you? 

779 nescio quid vos velitati estis inter vos duos. 

I don’t know what you two have been quarreling about. 

780 loquere, uter meruistis culpam? paucis, non longos logos. 

Speak—who deserves the blame? In brief, no long speeches. 

781 MAT. Nusquam equidem quicquam deliqui: hoc primum te absolvo, pater. 

WIFE. I haven’t done anything wrong anywhere: let me start by clearing myself with you, father. 

782 verum vivere hic non possum neque durare ullo modo. 

But I cannot live here, nor endure it in any way. 

783 proin tu me hinc abducas. SEN. Quid istuc autem est? MAT. Ludibrio, pater, 

So please take me away from here. OLD MAN. What’s this all about? WIFE. I am mocked, father, 

784 habeor. SEN. Vnde? MAT. Ab illo, quoi me mandavisti, meo viro. 

I am. OLD MAN. By whom? WIFE. By the one you entrusted me to—my husband. 

785 SEN. Ecce autem litigium. quotiens tandem edixi tibi, 

OLD MAN. Aha, a quarrel. How many times have I told you 

786 ut caveres, neuter ad me iretis cum querimonia? 

to take care that neither of you come to me with complaints? 

787 MAT. Qui ego istuc, mi pater, cavere possum? SEN. Men interrogas? 

WIFE. How can I, father, guard against that? OLD MAN. You ask me that? 

788 MAT. Nisi non vis. SEN. Quotiens monstravi tibi, viro ut morem geras, 

WIFE. Unless you don’t want me to. OLD MAN. How often have I shown you that you should obey your husband, 

789 quid ille faciat, ne id observes, quo eat, quid rerum gerat. 

and not watch what he does, where he goes, what business he’s up to. 

790 MAT. At enim ille hinc amat meretricem ex proxumo. SEN. Sane sapit, 

WIFE. But he loves a prostitute from next door! OLD MAN. He’s very wise, 

791 atque ob istanc industriam etiam faxo amabit amplius. 

and for such cleverness I’ll even make sure he loves her more.

792 MAT. Atque ibi potat. SEN. Tua quidem ille causa potabit minus, 

WIFE. And he drinks there. OLD MAN. For your sake, he’ll certainly drink less, 

793 si illic sive alibi libebit? quae haec, malum, impudentiast? 

if he feels like it there or elsewhere? What shamelessness is this, for heaven’s sake? 

794 una opera prohibere, ad cenam ne promittat, postules, 

You might as well demand that he be forbidden from accepting dinner invitations, 

795 neve quemquam accipiat alienum apud se. serviren tibi 

or from receiving any stranger at his house. Do you want him to be your servant? 

796 postulas viros? dare una opera pensum postules, 

Do you want men to be enslaved? You might as well demand to assign him a task, 

797 inter ancillas sedere iubeas, lanam carere. 

and order him to sit among the maidservants and card wool. 

798 MAT. Non equidem mihi te advocatum, pater, adduxi, sed viro. 

WIFE. I didn’t bring you here to advocate for me, father, but to rebuke my husband. 

799 hinc stas, illim causam dicis. SEN. Si ille quid deliquerit, 

You stand here but argue from his side. OLD MAN. If he has done wrong, 

800 multo tanto illum accusabo, quam te accusavi, amplius. 

I’ll accuse him far more than I did you. 

801 quando te auratam et vestitam bene habet, ancillas penum 

Since he keeps you in gold and fine clothes, with maids and supplies, 

802 recte praehibet, melius sanam est, mulier, mentem sumere. 

and provides properly, it’s better, woman, to come to your senses. 

803 MAT. At ille suppilat mihi aurum et pallas ex arcis domo, 

WIFE. But he steals gold and cloaks from my chests at home, 

804 me despoliat, mea ornamenta clam ad meretrices degerit. 

he robs me, and secretly carries my jewels to courtesans. 

805 SEN. Male facit, si istuc facit; si non facit, tu male facis, 

OLD MAN. He does wrong, if he’s doing that; if not, you’re wrong 

806 quae insontem insimules. MAT. Quin etiam nunc habet pallam, pater, 

to accuse an innocent man. WIFE. Why, he even has the cloak now, father, 

807 et spinter, quod ad hanc detulerat, nunc, quia rescivi, refert. 

and the clasp, which he gave to her—now, because I found out, he’s bringing it back. 

808 SEN. Iam ego ex hoc, ut factumst, scibo. ibo ad hominem atque adloquar. 

OLD MAN. I’ll soon learn the truth of this. I’ll go speak to the man myself. 

809 dic mi istuc, Menaechme, quod vos dissertatis, ut sciam. 

Tell me, Menaechmus, what you two are arguing about, so I can understand. 

810 quid tu tristis es? quid illa autem irata abs te destitit? 

Why are you upset? And why has she, angry, left you? 

811 MEN. Quisquis es, quidquid tibi nomen est, senex, summum Iovem 

MEN. Whoever you are, whatever your name, old man, I call Jupiter 

812 deosque do testes -- SEN. Qua de re aut cuius rei rerum omnium? 

and the gods to witness— OLD MAN. About what, or which matter among all things? 

813 MEN. Me neque isti male fecisse mulieri, quae me arguit 

MEN. That I have done no wrong to that woman, who accuses me 

814 hanc domo ab se surrupuisse atque abstulisse *** deierat. 

of stealing and carrying off this cloak from her house, she swears. 

815 si ego intra aedis huius umquam, ubi habitat, penetravi pedem, 

If I ever set foot inside that house where she lives, 

816 omnium hominum exopto ut fiam miserorum miserrimus. 

I pray to become the most wretched of all wretches. 

817 SEN. Sanun es, qui istuc exoptes aut neges te umquam pedem 

OLD MAN. Are you sane, to wish that—or to deny you ever set foot 

818 in eas aedis intulisse ubi habitas, insanissime? 

in the house where you live, you utter madman? 

819 MEN. Tun, senex, ais habitare med in illisce aedibus? 

MEN. Are you saying, old man, that I live in that house?

820 SEN. Tun negas? MEN. Nego hercle vero. SEN. Immo hercle ludere negas; 

OLD MAN. Do you deny it? MEN. By Hercules, I certainly deny it. OLD MAN. No, by Hercules, you're joking with your denial; 

821 nisi quo nocte hac exmigrastis. concede huc, mia filia. 

unless you moved out last night. Come here, my daughter. 

822 quid tu ais? num hinc exmigrastis? MAT. Quem in locum aut quam ob rem, obsecro? 

What do you say? Have you moved out? WIFE. To where, or for what reason, I beg you? 

823 SEN. Non edepol scio. MAT. Profecto ludit te hic. non tu tenes? 

OLD MAN. By Pollux, I don’t know. WIFE. He’s clearly making fun of you. Don’t you see? 

824 SEN. Iam vero, Menaechme, satis iocatu's. nunc hanc rem gere. 

OLD MAN. Now really, Menaechmus, you’ve joked enough. Now deal with this matter. 

825 MEN. Quaeso, quid mihi tecum est? unde aut quis tu homo es? 

MEN. Please, what business have I with you? Who or where are you from, man? 

826 tibi aut adeo isti, quae mihi molesta est quoquo modo? 

Or with that woman there, who annoys me in every way? 

827 MAT. Viden tu illi oculos virere? ut viridis exoritur colos 

WIFE. Do you see how his eyes are turning green? How a green tint rises 

828 ex temporibus atque fronte, ut oculi scintillant, vide. 

from his temples and forehead—look how his eyes flash. 

829 MEN. Quid mihi meliust, quam quando illi me insanire praedicant, 

MEN. What’s better for me, since they say I’m mad, 

830 ego med adsimulem insanire, ut illos a me absterream? 

than to pretend I’m mad, so I can drive them away from me? 

831 MAT. Vt pandiculans oscitatur. quid nunc faciam, mi pater? 

WIFE. See how he stretches and yawns. What shall I do now, father? 

832 SEN. Concede huc, mea nata, ab istoc quam potest longissime. 

OLD MAN. Come here, my daughter, as far as possible from that man. 

833 MEN. Euhoe Bacche, Bromie, quo me in silvam venatum vocas? 

MEN. Evoe, Bacchus, Bromius, why do you call me to hunt in the woods? 

834 audio, sed non abire possum ab his regionibus, 

I hear you, but I cannot leave this place, 

835 ita illa me ab laeva rabiosa femina adservat canis, 

for that rabid she-dog on my left keeps guard over me, 

836 poste autem illinc hircus malus, qui saepe aetate in sua 

and behind me that foul old goat, who in his lifetime 

837 perdidit civem innocentem falso testimonio. 

destroyed innocent citizens with false testimony. 

838 SEN. Vae capiti tuo. MEN. Ecce, Apollo mi ex oraclo imperat, 

OLD MAN. Woe to your head. MEN. Look, Apollo commands me from his oracle, 

839 ut ego illi oculos exuram lampadibus ardentibus. 

that I burn out his eyes with flaming torches. 

840 MAT. Perii, mi pater, minatur mihi oculos exurere. 

WIFE. I’m done for, father—he’s threatening to burn out my eyes. 

841 [MEN. Ei mihi, insanire me aiunt, ultro cum ipsi insaniunt.] 

[MEN. Oh dear, they say I’m mad—yet they’re the ones who are truly mad.] 

842 SEN. Filia, heus. MAT. Quid est? quid agimus? SEN. Quid si ego huc servos cito? 

OLD MAN. Daughter, hey. WIFE. What is it? What do we do? OLD MAN. What if I summon the slaves here? 

843 ibo, abducam qui hunc hinc tollant et domi devinciant, 

I’ll go and bring men to carry him off and tie him up at home, 

844 prius quam turbarum quid faciat amplius. MEN. Enim haereo; 

before he causes any further trouble. MEN. Indeed, I’m trapped; 

845 ni occupo aliquid mihi consilium, hi domum me ad se auferent. 

unless I come up with a plan fast, they’ll drag me home with them. 

846 pugnis me votas in huius ore quicquam parcere, 

You vow with fists that I should spare nothing on this man’s face, 

847 ni a meis oculis abscedat in malam magnam crucem. 

unless he gets out of my sight and goes to blazes. 

848 faciam quod iubes, Apollo. SEN. Fuge domum, quantum potest, 

I’ll do what you command, Apollo. OLD MAN. Flee home as fast as you can, 

849 ne hic te obtundat. MAT. Fugio. amabo, adserva istunc, mi pater, 

lest he bash you. WIFE. I’m running. Please, guard him, father, 

850 ne quo hinc abeat. sumne ego mulier misera, quae illaec audio? 

so he doesn’t get away. Am I not a miserable woman to hear such things? 

851 MEN. Haud male, Apollo illanc amovi; nunc hunc impurissimum, 

MEN. Not bad, Apollo, I’ve chased her off; now this most filthy one, 

852 barbatum, tremulum Tithonum, qui cluet Cygno patre, 

this bearded, trembling Tithonus, who claims descent from Cygnus, 

853 ita mihi imperas ut ego huius membra atque ossa atque artua 

you command me so that I may crush his limbs, bones, and joints 

854 comminuam illo scipione quem ipse habet. SEN. Dabitur malum, 

to powder with the very staff he’s holding. OLD MAN. Trouble’s coming, 

855 me quidem si attigeris aut si propius ad me accesseris. 

if you lay a finger on me or even come one step closer.

856 MEN. Faciam quod iubes; securim capiam ancipitem, atque hunc senem 

MEN. I’ll do what you command; I’ll take a double-edged axe, and this old man 

857 osse fini dedolabo assulatim viscera. 

I’ll hack his guts into splinters down to the bone. 

858 SEN. Enim vero illud praecavendumst, atque adcurandumst mihi; 

OLD MAN. I truly must guard against that and take care; 

859 sane ego illum metuo, ut minatur, ne quid male faxit mihi. 

I’m seriously afraid of him—that he’ll do something bad to me, as he threatens. 

860 MEN. Multa mi imperas, Apollo: nunc equos iunctos iubes 

MEN. You command many things, Apollo: now you tell me to take yoked horses, 

861 capere me indomitos, ferocis, atque in currum inscendere, 

untamed, fierce ones, and climb into the chariot, 

862 ut ego hunc proteram leonem vetulum, olentem, edentulum. 

so that I may crush this stinking, toothless old lion. 

863 iam adstiti in currum, iam lora teneo, iam stimulus in manust. 

Now I’m standing in the chariot, now I’ve got the reins, now the goad’s in my hand. 

864 agite equi, facitote sonitus ungularum appareat, 

Go, horses, let the clatter of your hooves be heard, 

865 cursu celeri facite inflexa sit pedum pernicitas. 

let your swift legs curve in a speedy gallop. 

866 SEN. Mihin equis iunctis minare? MEN. Ecce, Apollo, denuo 

OLD MAN. Are you threatening me with yoked horses? MEN. Look, Apollo, again 

867 me iubes facere impetum in eum qui stat atque occidere. 

you order me to charge at the man who’s standing there and kill him. 

868 sed quis hic est qui me capillo hinc de curru deripit? 

But who is this pulling me by the hair down from the chariot? 

869 imperium tuom demutat atque edictum Apollinis. 

He changes your command and the decree of Apollo. 

870 SEN. Eu hercle morbum acrem ac durum *** di vostram fidem. 

OLD MAN. Oh by Hercules, what a sharp and savage illness *** ye gods! 

871 vel hic qui insanit, quam valuit paulo prius; 

Even this madman was strong just a moment ago; 

872 ei derepente tantus morbus incidit. 

and suddenly such a severe illness struck him. 

873 ibo atque accersam medicum iam quantum potest. 

I’ll go and fetch a doctor right away as fast as I can.